By Richard and Vivian Crabbe (rabcrabbe@yahoo.com).
Leader’s perspective
“Ministry, God’s work, is #1; everything else comes later”
- Leaders are silent about 1 Timothy 3:4-5. Leading family is ministry, too. Actually, leading family should be #1 priority, a qualification for leading God’s Church. Remember to leave some of the ministration for your wife and children.
- “Know well the condition of your flock” (Proverbs 27:23-24). Need to balance priorities and make time for family—spouse and children.
- Can we boldly say to our family: “Imitate me, as I imitate Christ” (1 Corinthians 11:1)? What will they be imitating from you about faith, character, and behavior, all of which have to be in sync?
- Are your children proud of you? This comes before they will be proud of your ministry.
- How will your family remember you? How will they continue in the Lord after you are no more? That’s your real legacy.
- Let us not be like the generation of Joshua and those who crossed the Red Sea into the Promised Land. After their death, the generation that followed “did not know the Lord nor the work He had done for Israel (Judges 2:7-10).
Children’s perspective
“My father/mother is the pastor/leader, not me”
- Pressure to live up to parents’ position or standards vs. peers “freedom.”
- Help to develop own relationship with God, Who has no grandchildren (John 1:12).
- Communicate with/Explain about why you do ministry (what you do) and involve children as their gifts and abilities allow. Develop their interest. Far better than assigning and expecting that child loves it or should serve as parent directs.
Partnership with the Holy Spirit
God’s Sprit can go and be where we cannot be present. So, with our family, we should
- Have no anxiety; neither pressurize our children. Ours is to train and guide. Commit our children to His care, wisdom, and guidance (Philippians 4:6-7). Pray them into God’s Kingdom and ministry. Encourage them; partner them with proven younger leaders.
- Love them regardless of their mistakes—even when they embarrass us—and let them feel loved.
Action Points
- Be the appropriate role models—the first for your children. It means we have to keep learning to do better at modeling the right behavior.
- Develop the character of each family member—parents included.
- Balance priorities. Make time for spouse and children—to be husband, dad, and parent (wife, mom, and parent). Listen to and learn from them to enrich yourself and ministry.