By Richard and Vivian Crabbe
Introduction
Nobody marries to be miserable. We marry to be happy, to enjoy life with someone special to us. So, why do we have problems?
Reasons for problems in marriage
- Selfishness: Proverbs 16:2
- Differences in us: Knowing this helps you to understand your spouse better.
- Cultures
- Language
- Environment in which we were brought up
- Type of family
- Closed
- Random
- Open
- Jovial vs. Serious home
- Celebrations
- Who raised you?
- Single parent vs. Both parents; Step-parent; Extended family member; foster parent
- Home experience
- Only child vs. several siblings
- Position in family: First-born, second-born, last-born
Note: There must have been something about your spouse that attracted you to the person. Focus on that more than what you are not used to—your preferences and experience in life before marriage.
Promoting Understanding
- Accept one another: Romans 15:7
- Respect each other: Romans 12:3, 16; Ephesians 5:33; 1 Peter 3:7, NIV
- Watch how you talk to your spouse: Ephesians 4:29.
Sometimes, it is not what we have to say, but how we talk that puts a person off.
- Beware of harping on your spouse’s faults: Matthew 7:1-5.
- Practice doing things differently than you are used to: James 1:22-25.