Dealing With In-Laws

By Richard and Vivian Crabbe

Scriptural Basis: Ephesians 2:3,4; Romans 12:18

1. Everyone has their interests What is yours as a spouse?

• What is yours as an in-law?

2. Behaviors that create in-law problems:
   1. As a spouse, if you’re the in-law

• Disrespect
• Lack of empathy (not showing concern)
• Retaliation
• Not engaging in social events (visiting, weddings, funerals)
  1. As the spouse of an in-law
• Not being of one mind (with your spouse/standing together on issues)
• Siding with your folks against your spouse, especially without backing your spouse
• Making demands/threats about spouse’s behavior (e.g. “Apologize or else”)
• Leaving spouse in the dark about plans with folks (e.g. business, events, money)

3. To improve relations

• Stand together
• Discuss and agree on how to approach every issue then back each other up
• Beware of making negative comments or sending “reports”
• Learn to speak up for each other – don’t keep quiet
• Seek Godly wisdom – don’t decide, act, or react based on suspicions or assumptions

“There will always be people who will not like us as well as others. We should not ignore or despise others or treat them as irritants, competitors, or enemies. Showing love means we can choose to be concerned with their well-being and to treat them with respect whether or not we feel affection toward them. If we choose to show love to others, God will help us express love to others.”

• Comment on 1 John 2: 9-11, Life Application Bible, New International Version.